"No, I'm going to be more like Gil Chesterton." I said, because I know my limitations if nothing else.
Later on, one of my favourite local restaurants told me on Twitter that they were nervous when I went in for dinner shortly before my column was due in the paper. "It's like having Giles Coren in" they said, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that that felt like a compliment, although I keep telling myself that I'm not quite as much of a cock as he is.
Anyway, the piece below appeared in the Reading Post on Wednesday and is written by someone who is approximately 25% Carrie Bradshaw, 25% Giles Coren and 50% Gil Chesterton. I hope you like it.
The London Street Brasserie used to have something on its menu which I found really odd. Not a dish, a suggestion: at the top of the list of starters was this sentence, in italics - Two starters makes an ideal light lunch. I remember thinking it was the silliest thing I’d ever read, but it turns out that they were ahead of their time; small plates were the next big thing in London a couple of years ago, and now they are coming to a chain restaurant near you.
For most countries, this idea of eating lots of little dishes with friends or family is second nature. Tapas is the one we’re most used to (and good tapas, even if it’s something as straightforward as slabs of manchego and slivers of jamon, is a wonderful thing) but there are many others, from sushi to mezze. On location, it makes sense; watching the Turks eat out in Istanbul for instance - a good-natured hubbub of shouting, gesticulation and passing plates around - it’s difficult to imagine a better way of eating.
You don’t see anything remotely like that in restaurants here; it seems a British fetish to lock ourselves in the three-stage cage of starters, main courses and desserts. There are tasting menus, I suppose, but they’re high-end stuff and even then it’s one dish at a time, a conveyor belt of miniature delights like a culinary Generation Game.
Besides, I have a sneaking feeling that sharing food just isn’t in our nature. My meal is my meal, we seem to say, you can have a forkful if you must, but if you want any more you should have ordered it yourself (unless my meal is disappointing, in which case you can have as much as you like). The main exception is curry, but I reckon that’s because everyone always orders more than they can physically eat, so letting other people have some is no great loss.
I’d like to see small plates catch on. I liken them to my iPod (bear with me) - I have a playlist on there of songs I love which are less than three minutes long. I listen to that playlist when I’m in a rush and it’s perfect; every track is bite-sized and if I’m not in the mood for one it doesn’t matter, because I know another will be along in no time.
Will they catch on, though? I’m not sure. So far, they’ve mainly been picked up by the Italian chains; Zizzi, Strada and Carluccios are all experimenting with them on their menus, calling them Cicheti, Antipastini and Stuzzichini respectively. The thing is, it feels like lip service; they are at the beginning of the menu before the starters, and the suggestion is that you have them too, just a middle-class way of going large for people too posh to go to Burger King (only Zizzi, in fact, seems to have grasped the idea that you might want these instead of a pizza).
Meanwhile, if you want to try small plates as they should be I recommend you go to Kyrenia in Caversham. It’s their tenth birthday this year and their mezze is still as perfect as it was on day one, whether it’s smoky houmous or squeaky halloumi. Best of all, for me at least, is the octopus - marinated in red wine and oregano and simply grilled, it’s one of my favourite dishes in the whole of Reading. It proves my other theory about small plates right, too – when you really love a dish, the plate is always too small.
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18 comments:
There's always an octopus in the seafood counter at work (I work in a meat market). Most people don't realize it's for sale; they think we use it to scare small children.
Wonderful article.
I liked the lilt of this piece, and I adore small plates--mainly as I am one to distress over making up my mind.
Your Bradshaw/Coren/Chesterton ratio sounds like a rather nice fellow...
Couldn't agree more. Tapas has to be the most civilised way to eat.
Apart from hog roasts obviously.
Now that I'm knocking on in years, I can't tackle a big plate of food, its too overwhelming. In fact it one of my annoyances that most restaurants don't serve. what I term, small 'pensioner' portions. In our local Tesco's cafe, they allow me to have a 'child's portion served on a very small oval plate which is just about enough for me these days. So I look forward to these small plate fad appearing soon in a restaurant near me
Nicely done, of course. The food writers around these parts write about food as if it existed in a vacuum. No anthropological observations, no cultural references, nothing to make one's mouth water or, in fact, to make the corners of said mouth curl upward at some sly humor or clever remark. I do like the idea of small plates, but we rarely encounter them.
My dear Mr. L.S.......now you've really done it! At various times you have wrung my heart and tickled my funnybone endlessly but this is the first time you have made me salivate. If you will forgive my crudeness, I suspect that some day you will write a piece that will have an orgasmic effect on me. For me, ours may be the ultimate in long distance relationships.
I must tell you that you are smack on the money with the small plates notion. I have been making my meal out of several appetizers for years and really believe it is the ideal way to dine.
Oh, er......have I told you lately that I love you?
Small plates = small number of comments! Thanks to the people who’ve stopped by so far and had their say.
Nessa – Octopus is the perfect food to have in a restaurant I think, because it’s something you would never even try to cook at home and most people wouldn’t want to handle.
Chantel – Thank you! “lilt” is nice, I’m happy with that. I know exactly what you mean, there’s nothing worse than ordering a disappointing main and knowing that’s what you’re stuck with (although I do think that’s also the cosmos’ way of ordering you to have a dessert). Actually, I imagine that’s a horrific blend – I wonder if you’re mistaking Gil Chesterton for G.K. Chesterton, perhaps.
The Jules – I’m getting a clear impression that as long as you can eat it with your hands you’re not that fussy.
Technogran – I hope they do too. Like most food trends they start in London and by the time they reach the rest of us London has lost interest and moved on to something else. Also, by the time they reach us they are usually a bit of an imitation of their former selves. But we can hope.
BlOG – Interesting you say that. I think food writers in the UK (proper food writers as opposed to me) tend to be quite good at writing around food rather than writing about food. I do it because I’m not really an expert on food, and I suspect it shows. I don’t cook, for instance.
Lo – This is a lovely comment (and only slightly alarming). I can only say – to your disappointment, but I expect to the relief of everybody else reading this – that I never plan to write about that kind of thing and highly doubt I will ever write a piece that has that kind of effect on you or anyone. I am not a fan of writing on that topic, it is almost always deeply embarrassing for all concerned.
A few years ago, my husband and I had come down from Edinburgh for a long weekend in London. One late afternoon we stopped in at a lovely tapas bar off Oxford Street.
My Scotsman, a confirmed Holy Trinity eater of starter, main, dessert, was appalled when we got our little bite-size portions--and heaven help us!!--that we were supposed to share..!! It still makes me laugh at how much he grumbled.
I wasn't too sure what to think of this entry, but I dove in and enjoyed it! And as much as I love Chinese Buffets (ah, America lol) I couldn't agree more.
Prime example? The last girl I took out on a "first date" just wanted to get appetizers. Granted, she wasn't of drinking age at that time, so that probably had something to do with it...
Loved this column, I hope there will be many more. Next time I'm in Zizzi's I will try the small plates.
congratulations on your column. i live on the other side of the ocean why would i read a food column from Reading i said to myself, but i did and i enjoyed it very much. i suspects from now on i am going to be tempted by things and places i will not be able to visit,
at least i will get to read good writing with a nice dose of humour and that is okay by me.
Oh,dear.....I see from your response to my comment that I had better follow up with another comment.
I fear my effusive nature, wildly extravagant praise and sincere admiration for your work have alarmed you and I want to apologize and reassure you.
Dear Mr. London Street......I was only kidding. Sorry if I upset you instead of amusing you. Please forgive.
Don't be daft Lo!
Even when we (Generalising for Anglo-Saxons) try to embrace the small plate approach to eating, we can rubbish it. When my dad visits Madrid, he demonstrates a zeal for tapas that leads to over-ordering and subsequent over eating. Though maybe this is just a symptom of travel eating?
Love the writing, as always.
I actually side with Jules on this one. The hog roast is pretty much as perfectly civilised as is humanly possible. It's also about as good as it gets.
I think my favourite type of meal is the 'farmhouse spread' which in layman's terms is a solid oak table covered in cheeses, olives, meats, pickles and vast hunks of rough-cut bread.
I'd much prefer that over tapas, though I guess there are some commonalities...
But in a restaurant I'd rather a rare steak on my own plate than share dishes. How very English of me.
I really enjoyed this! I've often considered networking some more and maybe trying to sell some ideas to some magazines or newspapers nearby. I have one idea already, I just have to piece it together...
terlee – Appropriately, when I last went to Edinburgh I had some magnificent tapas on Jeffrey Street. I’d recommend it, but it sounds like your husband wouldn’t go near it.
Big-H – Going out for dinner and only having appetisers is taking the idea of small plates many, many steps too far. I’m not sure I’d ever have got to a second date if the first date was like that.
NickyGI – Thank you! I hope so too – let’s see how long the Reading Post keeps me on for shall we? I actually haven’t been to Zizzi’s, but I’d almost be tempted purely because they’re at least trying to offer these. I can be a bit sniffy about chains but in Reading you often have little choice but to go to them.
onesilentwinter – I know, it’s a hard sell. I try to avoid writing about some very specific things (music, politics, food, local issues) because I know they are bound to lose a large proportion of the people who read my blog. In an ideal world, people would read writers they like on any subject, but I imagine that doesn’t really work in reality.
Ellie – I think over-ordering is a natural thing to do when on holiday, and the British are prone to do this with anything that involves sharing. I’ve never been to an Indian restaurant and had my group polish everything off. I’m not sure I’d describe that as “rubbishing it” though – baby steps. Even the idea of eating lots of things and sharing represents a lot of progress.
Mo – Yes, you are English to a fault. I can take or leave a hog roast myself. Now a nice selection of charcuterie, on the other hand…
Jennifer – Good luck with that! I think it’s an interesting experience writing to a strict word count for someone else. In some ways, it’s very rewarding. In others, it’s very frustrating. My next column is due in a week and a bit, and I have about 1500 words worth of stuff to say but only 600 words to say it in.
There are a few chain restaurants that do small plates here. Being American, and therefore operating under the notion that "bigger is better", I never saw the appeal. But I've been steadily getting out of the quantity method and working my way toward quality. So, if I ever come across small plates that look like they're worth it...I'll give them a try.
Food columnist suits you and, to be honest, I wasn't sure it would. I guess I was afraid writing for a paper would change your voice somehow, perhaps make it more matter-of-fact, but it hasn't. The facts are all there, but clearly, so are you. I enjoyed this and I hope you keep up the column.
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